Gay Marriage and Gayness In General

I 'liked' George Takei on Facebook and get his posts, mostly funny pictures with a pun describing them. He did a post today about North Carolina and a no-gay-marriage amendment up for a vote soon. As an Evil Conservative I'm supposed to hate gay marriage and the mainstreaming of gayness in our culture but I don't and it makes me angry that we're in this fight. Part of conservatism is a live-and-let-live mentality towards most social issues. I mentioned in my Mad Men post that I love beautiful women and Christina Hendricks is pretty much the center of the Venn diagram in regards to what I find attractive. Liking tall and busty redheads doesn't affect my opinion on the UN or energy policy or the fact that our president ate dog (HE ATE DOG! DOG! I LIKE DOGS! DOGS ARE NOT FOR EATING!) and bragged about it. It affects who I date and do a google image search for and that's really about it. Gay people getting married doesn't seem like a problem for me. The one argument I've heard that was even slightly compelling against gay marriage is that it would be a tool polygamists would use in arguing that polygamy should be legal. It stopped being slightly compelling when I learned that the British government recognizes polygamy on some levels but gay marriage is not. Gays are gay, gays get in long-term relationships and gays have to deal with the legal problems of property ownership, not getting benefits a straight couple gets (insurance, pension, etc), the division of assets after a breakup and so on.

Part of the anti-gay bias, I think, is the confusion with homosexuality and pedophilia. It started with the Greeks liking grown men to 'mentor' teen boys and the Catholic Church perpetuated it with their silence about pedophile priests. Some people think that gay means you'll molest boys. It ignores men that molest girls as well as women that molest boys. To be blunt, it's a stupid argument.

Another part of anti-gay bias might be better described as a bias against those not following traditional gender roles. Back in the 1980s, there was a 'Saturday Night Live' character called Pat whose sex was  impossible to tell. The gag was that Pat would say something that sounded like proof Pat was one sex (It's that time of month I hate...) and then finish the sentence with something that made it ambiguous (you know, bill time!). It was funny in part because the other people in the sketch knew that it didn't matter and it shouldn't matter but they just wanted to know. I've said, when a woman talks about something difficult and painful in regards to women's fashion or hygiene, that if I were a woman, I'd be the hairiest lesbian anybody ever saw. I had a friend that was a drag queen and even he used dancer's leggings rather than shave his legs. I occasionally wear polo shirts and khakis because they're comfortable and acceptable pretty much everywhere. My haircut is pretty basic, relatively short and parted on the side. A few weeks ago I watched a cute animal video (cute animals constitute about 40% of the internet with porn being another 40% and everything else taking what's left) and the zookeeper being interviewed had my haircut and was wearing a polo shirt and khakis. It took a few minutes to realize she was a woman. When I figured it out, I was vaguely bothered for a moment. I had no idea of her sexual preference and didn't give a damn but her appearance not being gender-appropriate was bothersome enough that I consciously noticed it.

We could have a really boring argument over what percentage of gender is biological in nature and how much is imprinted on us but whatever is imprinted onto us is almost never consciously chosen. One of the terms for homosexual is 'queer' which originally meant unusual and not fitting in. People know that it's not socially acceptable to be prejudiced against gays; there are serious social and legal consequences for it. You can lose your job in the private sector and almost certainly lose it in the public sector and people will think you're a hateful asshole if you show honest prejudice against gays. I think that it is a good thing for our society that homosexuality is acceptable. I mentioned that I like George Takei who is a proud gay. I was inspired to talk about this when watching an interview of John Barrowman, an actor who plays a recurring character on 'Doctor Who' (yeah, I said I was a geek) and came to find out that the actor (who plays a slutty bisexual from the future) is a flaming gay guy who is hilarious and raunchy. The interview is great and fun and he talks about his 'partner' (can I say that that is an awkward term and I wish it would go away?) and it hit me that out gay people tend to be pretty cool. Not sure if it's because boring and uptight gays tend to stay in the closet somewhat but it is interesting. Look, I am not an expert in gender studies and this post is running long already. Gay marriage doesn't hurt society. Hatred does. Forcing people into the margins does. If you can't handle a flamboyant gay couple at the next table or the next door down, I hear the Amish are hiring.